I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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