Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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