i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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