i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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