my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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