Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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