I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I DEMAND FORESKIN
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize