You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
