How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
