do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
