Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
