He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
