I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
