dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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