Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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