so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
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Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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