He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
