Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
