Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
