Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
