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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
