How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
