If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
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Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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