my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Sacagawea was the original milf.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
