Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
