He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
