About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Congratulations! We have a period
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
