tell your sister to shave her snatch
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you