It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
