tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
