You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just cropdusted the office
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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