I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
