Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize