just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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