i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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