Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
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then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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