there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it's like iHOP with fire
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
