Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Houston, we have a blender
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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