She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
