He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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