As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
All the doctor said was why
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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