she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
