a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
