I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Can you bring me the toilet please
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
