people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
