I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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