69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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