I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
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I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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