i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
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He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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