Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize