That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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