Porn is love you can see.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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