I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
