i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
