i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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