is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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