dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize