Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
North Korea, Best Korea!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
